I was head-deep in the hole of confusion and couldn’t put a finger on what to do. The only thing I couldn’t bear having were regrets in life. Some choices are just that tricky. Every choice has a consequence, and facing those consequences in a I-wish-I’d-chosen-differently was something I would never want in life. Maybe it was just that this moment was forcing me to choose from two very precious things, both of which I never want to let go. I was scared that choosing one would cause me to lose the other. Then again, ain’t it what the choices are about? Choosing one means you have to let go the other, that is pretty much why it sucks (then there’re the consequences). In this moment of distress I came across something that consoled me:
”Never will you attain the good until you spend [in the way of Allah ] from that which you love” (3:92)
This made me wonder, perhaps all I needed was the leap of faith. Then it hit me, maybe I was trying too hard to control every aspect of my life (which happened to be something out of the hands of a mortal being). I once heard someone saying, ”By giving up the control, I felt free.” Maybe I just needed to follow the advice. Maybe I needed to give up the control and take the leap of faith.